motherhood

to always | how i want my children to remember me

olive juneSeptember 29, 2022

how do i want my children to remember me |

i want them to remember me for making them feel safe
and loved
an unconditional, tender love
a love of a lifetime

asking about their days in the car …
was it a ‘one thumb up day!’
‘two thumbs up!!’
or a ‘one thumb down’
‘two thumbs down’
then their favorite part
and how they helped someone else today; an act of kindness

our family road trips
an unknown adventure
with folk tunes and our favorite snacks
but also
early morning stillness
within the walls of our home
over many moons

the garden roses lining the front and the forest behind
how nash and i share laughter
and parks and i share a love for a cozy rainy day; two old souls
and that rosie will hopefully always be able to confide in me; her most trusted secret keeper

taking the time for the little moments
and just being
swaying in the hammock and counting the stars
picnics at the park on our floral vintage quilts
the vinyls spinning and the watercoloring by candlelight
my love for coral lipstick and feminine dresses

saturday mornings at the local market and savory pizza on friday evenings
a prayer before each meal
and every good night
gently rubbing their backs before bed and their hair throughout a day
the feeling of nostalgia i want them to feel when they hear an old country song and remember their mom and dad dancing in the kitchen

the joy felt when leaving a church service
the security of feeling heard
the importance of forgiveness
the promises of heaven.

i want them to watch ‘singing in the rain,’ and remember us snuggled on the couch
seeing the little lunchbox notes at school
reading and setting up libraries on our daybed
sipping hot chocolate after sledding through a snowfall

allowing all of their feelings to be seen
and how i always waited for them to release a hug first
always encouraging their authenticity to shine throughout each stage-
of this one life.

i want them to smell the blend of biscuits, bacon, and coffee and remember a sunday morning on our kitchen counters
how our soaps smelled soaps of oleander, jasmine, lavender, and lily of the valley
a single taper candle dripping
and the smell of frasier fir, oranges, and cinnamon during the holidays
walks along waterways
and finding objects in the clouds above

loving on each other – always.
i want them to remember me feeling like home to them.